I’m a writer, and I’m at a loss for words. So here we go… “God flipped it.” So what did God flip for me? Well, he flipped everything. This about sums it up…

You did it: you changed wild lament
into whirling dance;
You ripped off my black mourning band
and decked me with wildflowers.
I’m about to burst with song;
I can’t keep quiet about you.
God, my God,
I can’t thank you enough.
Psalm 30:11-12 (MSG)

My 2019 has been incredible but let’s talk about Sunday! God was very much present on Sunday! I taught some, and I learned a lot then God decided to WOW me some more!

God began to speak directly to me. Yes, we all pick up things in the sermon, but God had a very private conversation with me. See, I struggle with hearing from God. He talks, but I don’t listen. So I have learned to ask God to make it clear… very clear! And God has so graciously answered my prayer.

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.
John 10:27

I called myself ministering to someone. Then God flipped things, and I became the one getting ministered too. This happens a lot, God uses us to bless someone, and the encounter ends up blessing both parties. I understand that, but this was different. God used this encounter to speak a heart-piercing, convicting, life-changing message.

Someone began to pour into me, speaking about the peace and gentleness of my spirit. I was speechless… and I’m a speaker. Then these words really got my attention; “Don’t ever let anyone take that away from you.”

Guilty as charged! Sunday afternoon, I reflected over the past few years of my ministry. God revealed that in fact, I was in the wrong by allowing others to take my peace. I had let people get the best of me. I allowed others to bring me down and emotionally break me. How was I not able to keep my peace?

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 14:27

When I get upset, my mentor can usually talk me down. He tells me that person didn’t push me to that point. He chastens me to let me know I allowed myself to get to that place. He also reminds me that I’m in control of my feelings.

Shortly after getting licensed, I asked God why did He do this to me? At that time, ministry seemed like the worst burden anyone could bare. But someone promised me that it wasn’t this bad that the situation was unique. That person assured me that much better was coming.

But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.
1 Corinthians 2:9

Actually, several people told me that great things were coming. Things are pretty good now. I can’t imagine much better. But even greater is headed in my direction… God said it. Yes, there is a painful side of ministry. There is also a glorious side. A side where I am reminded of where my help comes from…

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.
He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
Psalm 121:1-3

Situations have changed, settings have changed but most of all I have changed. Who knows what the future may hold exactly. But I do know who holds the future. And I know that I have control over my peace. God gave me this peace, and I will not let anyone take this peace from me.

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
John 16:33